Writing to Transplant Recipients

DONOR FAMILY SERVICES

Writing to Your Donor Family

The decision to write to your donor family is a very personal one. Sometimes, transplant recipients choose to write to donor families to express their gratitude. If you find that it is too difficult to write a letter, a simple card can also be uplifting to the family.

If you would like to write to your donor family, here are some general guidelines to help you.

Write About Yourself

	You may want to include your name (first name only) and information about your job, your family and friends, your hobbies and interests and the name of the state in which you reside (please do not include the city).
	Since the religion of the donor’s family is unknown, please consider this if you are including religious comments.
	Keep identities anonymous and confidential…avoid including any last names, street addresses, city names or phone numbers.

Write About Your Transplant Experience

	Use simple language and communicate in a sensitive manner.
	Do not reveal the name or location of the hospital or your physician.
	Recognize the donor family and thank them for their gift.
	Describe how long you waited for a transplant.

What Was The Wait Like For You And Your Family?

	Explain how the transplant has improved your health and changed your life.
	Can you participate in activities now that you couldn’t before your transplant?
	Explain what has happened in your life since your transplant.
	Did you celebrate another birthday or anniversary?
	Did your son or daughter marry?
	Did you become a parent or grandparent?
	Did you return to school or accept a new job?

Closing Your Letter

	Identify yourself by the organ(s) you received; for example, heart recipient, kidney recipient, etc.
	Sign your first name only

Mailing Your Card Or Letter

Place your card or letter in an unsealed envelope.

Include a separate piece of paper with your full name, name of the hospital and the date of your transplant.

Place these items in another envelope and mail them to:

LifeShare Transplant Donor Services of Oklahoma
Donor Family Services Coordinator
7200 N. Broadway
Oklahoma City, OK 73116

Allow Extra Mailing Time

It may take a few weeks after you’ve mailed your card or letter for the donor family to receive it. Letters will be reviewed to ensure confidentiality and the donor family may be contacted to request permission to forward the correspondence.

If you need further information about writing your donor family, please call:

LifeShare Transplant Donor Services of Oklahoma at (405) 840-5551, toll free at 1-888-580-5680, or email at bereavement@lifeshareok.org.

Will I hear from the donor family?

There is always the chance that you will not get a response. Some donor families have said that writing about their loved one and their decision to donate helps them in their grieving process. Other donor families, even though they are comfortable with their decision to donate, prefer privacy and choose not to write to the transplant recipients. Remember, the donor’s family may still be coping with the loss of their loved one and individuals manage grief in different ways. Also, there is always the chance that the donor family has moved. If they have not given us their forwarding information, we have no way of contacting them.

Many recipients and donor families ask if they will ever be able to have personal contact. We have found that after a period of anonymous correspondence, the desire to meet is often expressed by one or both parties. If there are no extenuating circumstances and both sides express a desire to meet, LifeShare Transplant Donor Services of Oklahoma will, with the permission of both parties, facilitate the exchange of personal information.